


Strangers

by bleedingsalt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Arguing, Hurt, Little comfort, M/M, Strangers to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 07:21:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10826481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleedingsalt/pseuds/bleedingsalt
Summary: When Sam walks home one night he sees a stranger sitting on the edge of the bridge. He can't walk past him, knowing full well why he is there, and sits down. Sam doesn't know why he is doing this, but he feels it's right to stay.





	Strangers

Rain poured down on the young man crossing the bridge, to which he pulled up the collar of his coat and lowered his head a little. Sam cursed himself for thinking he would make it before it started raining, but then again it was better than snow - or even worse, hailing - so he shrugged it off and kept walking.

A shadowy figure appeared in the distance, too blurry for Sam to recognize tho. When he did, he realized that someone was sitting at the edge of the bridge, feet dangling off the stone and staring at the water. Sam’s heart skipped a beat when he saw the most devastated and heartbroken face. He stopped for a moment, a fist pressed against his chest, and stared at the man in silence. He had come close enough for the man to notice he was not alone and before Sam could speak, he sighed audibly.

“If you don’t mind, I don’t want company right now,” he said quietly, his voice stinging into Sam’s chest like an arrow.

He wanted to say something so badly it physically hurt, but just looking at the man silenced him before he could even form the words in his head. Something horrible must have happened and Sam knew that the man wanted more than to be alone - he wanted to be ignored. The sadness had turned his blue eyes dark, Sam could see that from the light the water beneath them reflected, so much that they were almost black.

Without saying a word, Sam forgot the rain and that cars passed next to them and showered them even worse, and sat down next to the unknown man. The ground was still slightly warm from the sun earlier, but it wouldn’t stay this way for long. He dangled his legs over the edge of the bridge too and folded his hands in his lap.

The man stayed silent for a long time, all the while Sam was ready to grab his arm in case he decided to make a triple lindy off the bridge. Sam eventually realized that the man was soaked from head to toes, he must have sat here for hours already. Ignoring the fact that he was about to look the same, he got out of his coat and draped it around the other’s shoulders carefully. Only then, the man turned his head and looked at him. Sam swallowed hard.

If he was under the impression of seeing someone at his lowest before, this man proved him wrong the second their eyes locked. There was absolutely no light in them anymore, absolutely no hope whatsoever. As if his hand was directed by an invisible puppeteer, the man grabbed Sam’s coat and pulled it off his shoulders.

“It’s not worth it, trust me,” he said with the same quiet voice, that sounded utterly defeated.

“I insist,” Sam said strict and put the coat back. The man didn’t protest at all, his hand simply dropped down and he turned his head again to look back at the water. “You will get sick.”

“No, I won’t,” the man sighed and shook his head slowly. “There’s not enough time to get sick anymore.”

Sam wished he wouldn’t have said those words. This was something no one should ever talk about, never.

“Don’t be silly,” Sam said with a weak smile, hoping that he didn’t sound too fake. “A night is enough to catch a cold.”

“I told you,” the man replied emotionless. “Not enough time.”

Sam bit his lip, swallowing down an answer. He didn’t like this at all. This man was a complete stranger and yet he sat here next to him, feeling the need to spend him comfort in a situation he didn’t understand. He didn’t even know what to say, he couldn’t fathom what the man had gone through or how he felt, apart from being completely broken, which was obvious from his appearance alone.

The man barely wore any clothes, a black shirt and black pants, nothing more. He didn’t even wear shoes, Sam had noticed that when he sat next to him and followed the other’s gaze. His blond hair was dirty and dripping from the rain, his face was a mask of agony and under his eyes he had huge dark circles, as if he hadn’t slept in a week. He barely opened his eyes fully, Sam realized, too. It was a tired gaze that came from more than a lack of sleep.

“Listen, I don’t know what happened, but it’s not the end of the world, okay?” Sam tried to not sound like a complete asshole, but he doubted it came across this way. “You’re still here, that’s something.”

“You’re right, you don’t know what happened,” the man said and Sam noticed tears roll down his eyes. he didn’t even bother to wipe them away. “Just leave, go home. Sleep and forget you ever saw me sitting here.”

“If I could, I would be gone already,” Sam smiled and laid a hand on the man’s shoulder. He didn’t move or react to it at all.

“I don’t need your arms around me.” Despite his words, the man didn’t try to get rid of them either. “I need to find the strength to leave.”

“Leave as in: go home. Right?”

“No. Just leave.”

Sam cursed himself for not being able to stop the man from saying such things. He wanted to drag him away from the edge, even if he had to use force, but he couldn’t do it. Sam was at a complete loss.

“You can’t do that,” Sam heard himself say, desperately trying to find words to soothe the man. He was down on his knees, literally, and couldn’t get up anymore.

“Sometimes you just have to let go,” the man said with the saddest smile on his wet lips Sam had ever seen. “Sometimes… sometimes, a green light turns to red and nothing is ever the same again.”

Sam didn’t know what those words meant, but they scared him. Whatever happened, nothing he would say would change that. Suddenly, the man ripped his hands up and covered his ears. He bowed his head to the point where Sam feared he would simply fall forward and be gone, so he did the only thing he could think of and grabbed him by the waist. The man had his eyes pressed shut and gritted his teeth, groaning as if he was in a cruciating pain and Sam just pulled him closer to make sure he wouldn’t fall.

He didn’t know how long this lasted, the man was so tense and trembling under Sam’s grip that tears shot into his own eyes, too. After a while, he heard himself mutter words that were all the same, that were more to comfort himself than the man. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay. You’re still here.” He knew they were pointless, but he couldn’t stop.

When Sam finally noticed that the man had calmed down a little, he dared to loosen his desperate embrace to look at him. His face was covered with wet streaks of his hair that Sam carefully pushed aside to see his eyes.

“Are you better?” he asked worried. “I thought you would fall for a moment.”

“You should have let me,” the man mumbled, but made no effort to push himself away. “I can’t do this anymore, I can’t…”

“Breathe, please. You will get through this, whatever it is.”

“No, I won’t,” the man shook his head slowly. “You have no idea… it’s my fault, it’s all my fault. I still see them, I still  _ hear  _ them… It’s my fault and they won’t come back ever again…”

Sam pulled the man closer again, but this time much more gentle. The other was crying, but let him do as he pleased; even pressed his face against Sam’s shirt as if to hide. Sam didn’t mind, he simply held him close and let his hand run over his back slowly, in a useless attempt to spend some form of comfort this way. Without thinking, Sam searched for one of the man’s hands with his own and gripped it tight.

“It’ll be okay, I swear it will be,” Sam sniffed, unable to wipe his own tears away. They mixed with the rain and he laid his head back to let the cold water wash away the salt from his face. “The sun will rise tomorrow, the rain will stop and you will still be here.”

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” Sam heard a muffled voice, as he had expected.

“I know, but you will be,” he said and a sad smile sneaked on his lips. “You just have to believe it.”

They sat like this for a few minutes in silence, waiting and waiting. Sam didn’t know why, but he wouldn’t let this stranger die. Not if he could do something to prevent it. 

Eventually, the man pushed himself away. Sam kept his hands on the other’s waist, just in case, and looked at him. He didn’t speak, just waited.

“I killed them,” the man finally said, almost as a whisper. “My brothers… my baby brother... they are dead and it’s my fault… tell me, how can I not want to join them?”

Sam’s chest tightened at those words, filled with so much guilt and grief.

“Don’t say that,” he eventually replied with a cracking voice. “They wouldn’t want that.”

“How do you know?” the other asked, glaring at Sam and shaking his hands off him. “How do you know, when the last thing my little brother did was begging for me to pick him up and I couldn’t? How do you know, when I was the one seeing the disappointment and pain in his eyes?”

Sam’s mouth was dry and it felt as if his heart had stopped beating altogether.

“How do you know they wouldn’t want me to die when I’m the reason they are dead? How?”

“I don’t know…” Sam whispered. He grabbed the man’s hand again, fearing it would be pulled away, but it wasn’t. He just stared at Sam with utter and complete self-loathe in his eyes. “I’m so sorry you lost them, but… they wouldn’t want you to die.”

“You have no fucking clue,” the man spat and suddenly jumped back on his feet. Sam was so startled that he couldn’t move for a moment and just stared at him from below. “You’re not the one who missed the fucking stop light and caused an accident, were you?” the man continued, now yelling and completely furious. Every word cut into Sam like a knife, deeper and deeper with every single one. “You were not the one who had to watch his baby brother die, begging you for help! You don’t know shit, that’s what you do!”

Sam still stared at the man when he threw the coat at him and turned around, stomping away. Then, finally, he was able to moved again and pushed himself up.

“Wait!” he yelled, but the other didn’t stop. Sam screwed his good behavior and ran after the man. He closed the distance between them rather quickly and grabbed the man by his shoulder. “Please, I’m sorry!”

“Oh just fuck off, will you?” the other shouted and pushed Sam away, who in his surprise stumbled backwards. 

It was as if the time had slowed down. Sam struggled to find his balance again, but it was impossible due to the force the man had used. He simply stared at the other and realized he would fall onto the street any second. The man, however, suddenly lost all his anger. It was replaced with pure horror as he ripped his eyes open and jumped forward. He managed to grab Sam’s hand and yanked him back, effectively landing them both on the ground.

Sam’s blood was pumping when he heard a car pass by and honk loudly at them. He laid above the man, his hands barely holding him up and both of them stared at each other in complete disbelief and shock. Sam took a few moments to collect himself and when he did, he finally sat back on his feet, allowing the man to sit up.

“Shit, I’m sorry!” the man quickly apologized and ran a hand through his hair. “I almost… fuck I almost killed you too. You see what I mean? I shouldn’t be here! What if I wouldn’t have caught you? You would be dead and your blood would be on my hands.”

Sam didn’t know if it was the adrenaline, the shock or if he had gone completely mad, but he had enough of this. He leaned forward without a warning, crashing their lips together so harsh that it hurt, but he didn’t care. He wanted this guy to shut up and he was completely out of himself - it was a heat of the moment thing he might regret later, but it finally brought the silence back.

The man was completely dumbfounded at first, staring at Sam with wide eyes and total confusion, but eventually, Sam could feel that he relaxed a little. He closed his eyes, savoring the last seconds before he was pushed back, less forceful this time.

“Are you fucking drunk?” the man asked, more surprised than angry.

“No, I’m Sam,” Sam huffed and sat down next to him.

“Sam my ass,” the other scoffed, but surprisingly laughed after that. It was a humorless laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. “I’m Lucifer, you dipshit.”

Sam couldn’t help but smile at the insult, but for some reason he felt better now.

“Okay, Lucifer,” Sam said. “Still wanna kill yourself?”

“You think a kiss changes that?” Lucifer asked and raised a brow in the most arrogant way possible.

“Maybe,” Sam shrugged and stood up. He had lost his coat when Lucifer pushed him before and now retrieved it from the street. The car that barely missed Sam had run over it and ruined it completely. Sam sighed frustrated. “Perfect.”

“Hey, Sam.”

Sam turned around, expecting a superior look on Lucifer’s face, but what he got was more confusion and sadness. He walked back over to him and sat down.

“Why did you do this?” Lucifer asked sincerely. “Not the kiss, everything. I told you to leave, why did you stay? You don’t know me.”

“I felt bad for you,” Sam sighed. “Listen, I know how feel guilty, really. You obviously loved your brothers and I really can’t imagine what it feels like to go through what happened to them, but you need to stop blaming yourself.”

“But it  _ was  _ my fault, Sam,” Lucifer shook his head. “I missed the stupid signal and crashed the car… Gabriel was only four, four! He never got the chance to live! He’ll never learn to read or write and he will never laugh again… don’t say it wasn’t my fault when I  _ know  _ it was. I held his hand when he died, it was all I could do, so don’t tell me it wasn’t my fault.”

“Okay, I won’t say it again,” Sam agreed, if only to not anger Lucifer again. “But look, do you really think Gabriel would want your death? Didn’t he love you? You made a mistake, yes, but he wouldn’t want you to kill yourself. He would want you to be happy.”

Lucifer stayed silent for a few moments until he finally shook his head.

“I wish I could believe you,” he sighed and looked back up at Sam. His eyes teared up again, but he didn’t seem to notice. “He was so sweet, you have no idea. He was the light of my life. Dad ditched us when he was just born and Gabriel’s mom had died during birth. He left him with me and my older brother, Michael. I don’t even know if Gabriel saw me as his brother or his dad.”

“He sounds like a little angel,” Sam forced himself to smile and wiped a tear off his own cheek.

“He was,” Lucifer smiled and looked at the sky, ignoring the raindrops on his face. “I would do anything to get him back, absolutely anything.”

“But… killing yourself won’t bring him back,” Sam threw in and Lucifer shook his head.

“No, but it would be fair. It’s been five years and I can still see his golden eyes, filled with fear and tears and unable to understand what had happened. It’s not fair that I’m alive and he’s not.”

Sam nodded and got off the ground, unable to stand the cold from the concrete now. He looked down at Lucifer and held out a hand, waiting for him to take it. Lucifer took a few minutes, but eventually did and let himself be pulled up too.

“It’s not fair,” Sam said and held the other’s hand tight. “But life isn’t fair. If you love your brother, don’t do this. Keep him in your memories the way he was before, celebrate his birthday by visiting his grave. Honor him by embracing your love for him, not drown in self-loathe and guilt.”

“What if I can’t do that?” Lucifer asked quietly.

“Then you turn around and tell me to hold you.”

Lucifer blinked a few times, confused by Sam’s words, until it finally clicked. He didn’t know why, just as Sam, but eventually smiled and nodded slowly.

“You mean it, really?” he asked, to which Sam nodded too.

“If you want to. I can’t promise you will never feel like you did earlier today, but if you do, I want to be there to show you it’s not the right thing to do.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Then just don’t say anything,” Sam smiled and leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss on Lucifer’s lips.

After a few seconds, Lucifer wrapped his arms around Sam’s waist and pulled him as close as possible, holding onto him even after Sam broke the kiss, with his face buried against the other’s neck. Sam wrapped his arms around Lucifer himself, unwilling to let go. Even now, the fear of the other just jumping was so intense that letting go of him was something he wasn’t willing to do just yet. But it was okay, Lucifer needed to be held and Sam would hold him for as long as necessary. And he would repeat it as often as he had to. 

Coincidence or not, Sam wouldn’t let Lucifer go again.


End file.
